A Little Life

I'm going to tackle this today and hope that I not only say everything that I want to say but also say it in a way that describes the depth of my feelings most accurately, with a vulnerability that will not necessarily come easily to me. This is and has always been my "happy place" and the other, more sensitive and raw side of my life is really shared only with those I know, love and trust. I am someone who celebrates the joys openly and with abandon while keeping the sadness in a smaller, quieter circle. It's just the way I've always been. BUT this will be an exception, an achingly significant story detailing our recent lives. I'd like you to know and to pray for us.

My middle sister, my absolute closest - love her like crazy - friend in the whole world, received devastating news not long ago. She was diagnosed with B Cell Lymphoma on January 21st. We have never had cancer on our radar, it's not something my side of the family has had to go through (though there have been other issues, this is just one that has evaded us) and so we were overwhelmingly shocked to hear that Daena actually had it. It turned out to be a rare form of this lymphoma because of the location and it seems, strangely so, that Daena is somewhat of a magnet for rarities (and on that same note, no stranger to hospitals and the stress of endless surgeries). There's an immediate and crushing grief that comes with news like cancer. Maybe it's in the unknown of the disease, before you get all the test results back and have a plan of attack, or it's in the "whys?"

But as many of you know, you move forward, through all the stages, and you eventually come to a place where you feel strong again. Really crazy, wildly strong. Cancer is, as it turns out, an incredible empowerer (my spell check is telling me that's not a word :). We may think we've accomplished some awe inspiring moments in our lifetimes, carrying our sweet babies and birthing them through excruciating pains, or suffering alongside our sick children, hugging them tightly through their fevers or as their stitches heal. At least those are the things we (meaning my sister and I) look back on and sort of laugh about, the grandest of examples in our experiences as warrior mothers. But the process of coming to terms with a disease that wants to end your life and then the incredible fight that it will require of you to walk through an ultimately life-saving treatment plan, well, that births a new kind of super women in you. Daena just giggles when her friends call her a superhero but it's absolutely true, and honestly, it has been her persona for the past 6 years.

With that being said, we are assured that her lymphoma is treatable and she has already had her first chemo. She was at Mayo Clinic in Rochester not even a week after diagnosis (huge hugs and thanks to our more than amazing Carey family in Tulsa) and they met with an outstanding specialist that was a God send, who assured her that she would be okay and that laughter was also a wonderful medicine. She had several biopsies, numerous scans and tests, a surgery and chemo all in that one week at Mayo and returned home to her kids a different mama physically but one with new-found strength and hope (not to mention a renewed faith in a God). She's been doing well, dealing mostly with deep fatigue and weakness and then some of the aches and pains from her surgery. But she's not nauseous and she says her side effects are very manageable. We are astounded at how comparable the side effects of chemo are to carrying a baby in your first trimester, except on a much grander scale. It must certainly mean that women handle chemo far better than men, don't you think (wink wink).

We do try to find the silver lining whenever it's possible, and really, it has been evident that our prayers and those of so many of you, our friends and family, have been heard by our Father. Daena has been protected and covered by God's hand and most importantly, I think, she has kept an incredibly positive attitude and frame of mind through it all. It is so unbelievable … she is so unbelievable. When you look at something like this from outside the bubble you can only assume that she is in the midst of an experience that is truly and terribly awful, simply because it is so life altering in every possible way, and we all love having control and consistency in life. But now, stepping inside that bubble, you'll see that she does not recognize it as that at all and in fact, it's a very surreal experience for her. Truly surreal. And what it comes down to is this, as long as her children are happy and loved and cared for, then she is content. Amazing huh. To still be so selfless, even in this circumstance. (She also has 4 children with the last, little Jude, just 10 months when this all first happened).

We absolutely treasure your prayers for her. We know that it's God alone who is carrying her through this, each day and week and month, and who will bring her complete healing in the end. She should have 6 rounds of chemo total with 21 days between each and we hope and pray to have her in remission by summer. It will be the greatest and most celebrated summer of our lives. Her chemo meds seem pretty aggressive from what we hear, so we know that Dr H means business. And we're up for the challenge. When you do take a breath to pray for her, ask that she will continue to stay emotionally and physically strong, so that she can care for those 4 little people that roam her living room with such flourish. They remain the center of her world and as a mom, you know that your primary concern is always the welfare of your kids, regardless of how you feel.

Much love to you all friends! To those of you who are a part of our everyday lives, thank you for your unbelievable love and support. We have been incredibly blessed and humbled by it. And to those that are far away and send their love and prayers, thank you. And to the many, many readers that I have never met, thanks for taking a moment out of your day to read. It is such a joy to share this little place with you.

xx Kirsty

 

{These photos were taken after a school dress up day, hence the funny hats and glasses. But some have asked about Daena's new haircut, so here it is! She decided to cut it short before it fell out. I think it looks amazing. My youngest sister and I plan to cut our hair and hopefully donate it, just to show her our love and support in a small but significant way.}